An apology to Shawn

I recently read an "apology to the Marthoma church" written by Shawn Varghese. From what I can understand, Shawn is writing the blog based on his experiences growing up in a North American Marthoma church. He writes about how he grew up in the church and was able to dis-proportionally "give something to the church" as opposed to "receiving something in return". In high school, he visited the famed Times Square Church and was enthralled by the experience. He didn't do what most of us would have done - change church. He persisted with his church and tried his best to influence the church service as a choir and youth leader.

Eventually, he goes to Dallas for theological training. During this time, he experienced several non-evangelical church and soon grew disillusioned with these churches - with the lack of a 'complete message' of creation, fall, redemption, restoration that a liturgical church often provides during a complete worship session. He describes a usual Sunday worship in detail and points to its shallowness. He returns to a church following the liturgical worship experience. He takes special care in stressing the point that liturgy does not save anyone, only Jesus does. He wishes that more churches provide the 'complete message' on a weekly basis. And, having an ordained liturgy, the Marthoma church does that every week.

As a result of these experiences, his apology to Marthoma church takes form and shape:
- he is sorry that he once thought liturgy was not good for the individual and the church
- he is sorry that he misunderstood the 'reverence' in Marthoma church to a lack of enthusiasm
- he is sorry for misunderstanding that the Marthoma church does not believe in the priesthood of the believer

I agree with all that Shawn has beautifully written, which I have just summarized above. Now for my story, and the reason for this blog post.

Like Shawn, I grew up in the Marthoma church too. Unlike Shawn, my experience of the church is from its roots in Kerala. Like Shawn, I have traveled far and wide (more than a handful of countries) and have visited or been a regular member of several churches - ranging from Anglican to African to Baptist to Lutheran to Methodist to Pentecostal and finally, the new offshoots fancifully called Mega churches. But, I remain a Marthomite, by denominational belief.

Out of such varied church experience, if there is one thing I have understood, it is that no church is perfect. Denominational and doctrinal differences exist to cater to each person's soul, to edify the person. One person's expression of worship may not be the same as the other person's. Therefore, I would like to think that God allowed the denominations that we see today.

Shawn realized the shallowness of non-denominational churches and got a better appreciation for the power of a liturgical worship service. As a person who literally grew up in the Marthoma church, I think a similar case of shallowness exists for the average Marthoma churchgoer as well. Shawn, through his apology, hits each of those areas that I think are the reason why people leave the church, or remain in the church at the expense of being stunted in spiritual growth.

Therefore, my apology to Shawn, or people like him, would read very similar to his statements -
-I apologize for thinking that the liturgy is the be-all and end-all of worship
-I apologize for lacking in enthusiasm
-I apologize for not realizing that I too was a royal priest anointed by God

I hope to describe each of these apologies in detail, so you can get a better appreciation of where I erred. As a result, I hope you will appreciate that church is not the issue, rather it is people like you and I who inadvertently serve as a deterrent for a true worshiper.

Liturgy is the be-all and end-all of worship

How many times have you heard or said the following comments?

"Achen's tune was great/bad"

"I saw Qurbana"

"I just came for the Qurbana"

"Today's worship was too long"

"I participated in the Qurbana"

One of the potential follies of a liturgical worship is the feeling that the liturgy or the 'sacredness' of the worship is enough to sustain a believer. We go to church, and return home, often not being able to worship the saviour in truth and spirit. Although, as I wrote earlier, a liturgy can be complete and beautiful in itself, it does not permit spontaneous expressions of worship. The worshiper is sometimes restricted in his ability to express his thoughts and emotions. In a non-denominational or a non-liturgical format, there is plenty of scope for freedom of worship. The liturgy often becomes so engrained in the believers mind that the worship becomes all too mechanical.

An average churchgoer may not even  participate in the worship by saying the parts which the people are free to speak. He ends up listening to others worshiping his creator. I still remember, as a child, a large part of me was stuck in a cricket stadium or even in school with friends while the achen sings Evengelion.

But at the same time, such a liturgical experience may end up satisfying a person's inner thirst for doing the 'right thing' and he may feel he has paid his weekly dues for God. He lives through his entire life without ever expressing his agony, his burdens, his fears, or his highest praises. The fact that the liturgy has heavy use of 'alien' language does not help too. I often wonder if we do a poll of Marthomites on the meaning of the phrase "barequmar sthoumankalos", how many would be able to answer correctly? While we are an ancient church with history dating back to St. Thomas, it maybe time to adapt and make modifications in the liturgy that accounts for the changing society.

I understand that the church never intends to use the liturgy as a be-all and end-all. But the believer may be trapped in a vicious cycle of routine sunday attendances at the expense of not having a true relationship with their creator.

Lacking in enthusiasm

As a Marthomite who has worshiped at several other denominations, I can easily say that our worship services appear monotonous, and the affect of the average churchgoer during the service displays a lack of zeal. But I am not writing about the actual service. It is what happens afterwards or even before, or sometimes during the service that will showcase the lack of enthusiasm. While a vibrant congregation would stay after the church to meet, greet, encourage fellow believers, our average churchgoer would disappear as soon as the doxology is sung. There are exceptions and I maybe generalizing this a bit too much. But those who have had friends who have changed church would probably agree with me if I say that one of the major reasons people switch church is the lack of genuine fellowship. 

A lack of enthusiasm is also displayed in the low attendance of our conventions, edavaka mission meetings, youth league etc. Most Marthomites have to supplement their 'study of the word of God' by going to other fellowships or meetings? Why does this happen? A person dear to me once went to two consecutive youth league meetings where instead of the word of God, there was a debate about "Why US is a world police" and "Some-random-news-topic". She, a 12th standard student at that time, fortunately had the wisdom to tell her dad that she needed another place to grow and thereafter matured under the wings of the Evangelical Union (EU). Why should our youngsters go elsewhere? Are we lacking in serious study of the word of God? I'm sure several of us would agree with me if I write that the general churchgoer lacks a thirst to study the bible. There's more to this issue. Maybe you can chip in with thoughts?

A genuine worshiper may be discouraged to see such a lack of enthusiasm for the study of Word of God or for prayer or for fellowship. No wonder then, he changes church. 

Is my behavior appropriate for a royal priest?

We read in 1 Peter 2:9 that all believers belong to a royal priesthood - which means we who claim to be a believer should act like a priest. What is expected of a priest? Should he be sinless, or blameless? No! There is no one who has lived or will live in the face of the earth who is blameless - except Jesus, son of man and son of God.

A priest should be able to witness his savior in his life. He should aim to be kind, compassionate, sincere, honest, full of integrity and genuinely loving. He should be impartial and should be able to guide or uplift another fellow believer in his times of crisis.

Has my behavior been appropriate for a royal priest? Have I been kind, compassionate or sincere when I was part of the general body meeting? Is my motive plain and simple for everyone to see and has it been based on Christ's love? Have I imported politics into church and made church a commodity? Have I displayed my love for the church more than my love for Christ? Have I shown impartiality in my behavior? Have I uplifted or guided someone else who was going through a period of turmoil? Have I gossiped or said bad comments about the achen in my family home, and then acted 'holy' in front of him? If I have erred in any of the above, have I sought forgiveness from Christ or shown remorse?

Have my mistakes led to someone else feeling that the church is not what it says it is? Then, it's time for me to change. If luckily, the genuine worshiper ended up in a bible-believing church where he matures, well and good. You and I have at least not sent someone downhill. But, if someone decides to altogether stop seeking the Lord, then we may need some course correction.

I hope you have appreciated that church is often not the issue, rather it is people like you and I who inadvertently serve as a deterrent for a true worshiper. In that case, you and I owe an apology to people like Shawn. This is mine. What's yours like?